Ellipses… a small, special character. Used by writers to slow down, create a pause, and indicate thinking.
⚫️ I (try to) practice living well daily 🪶
As a falsely-confident resolute person, I tend to think in black and white. I make firm decisions about what I want to do, how I want to change my behaviors, what I will cut out entirely, or what new habit I’ll do every day.
Just a month ago, I signed a post-it note contract with myself to write daily to feed my personal identity. To provide balance in my life. I see this yellow sticky note every day. I put it on my computer monitor for a reason, hoping it’d smack me in the face daily and inspire a short, but rewarding, writing session.
But it turns out I have the attention span of a guppy. Do I need to re-write the sticky note every week? Bigger sticky note? Sticky note with flashing lights around its border?
Despite spelling out firm mission statements explaining everything I do and don’t do, I forget easily.
Cut out sugar for 30 days because sugar affects my appetite, flares my skin, and makes me unbearably grumpy? Oh look, there’s a wayward Snickers on the floor. I can’t just leave that there.
Walk every day because there’s something to be said about rhythmic healing and moving meditations? Oh look, it’s time to pick up the kids, and my window is gone.
Write something new every day so that I don’t lose sight of my personal identity outside of my career and my roles as a mother and wife? Oh, maybe I should check some work email first.
So I don’t do the thing. And then I pile guilt on top of it.
“Why can’t I just do XYZ?”
“Why can’t I remember that THIS is my new mission in life?”
“Why am I the worst stoic ever?”
The thing is, in stoicism we separate the facts from the stories we tell ourselves about those facts. (I say “we” because I read about stoicism and follow Ryan Holiday religiously, desperately hoping stoic philosophies will stick.)
In exploring the guilt and inner turmoil, I found 3 simple things that I need to do:
Chill and “give myself grace.”
Remind myself this is new.
Remember this is part of the journey.
And so, in all my maturity, I throw an adult tantrum on the regular: I just so desperately want to turn on a switch and have it STAY ON. Press a button and change things OVERNIGHT. FUCK the journey. I want INSTANT gratification.
Deep breath.
But it is, truly, a journey. It’s hard to remember to do the things that make me a better, happier, more purposeful person… but it IS a daily practice.
⚫️ 1 link: How food affects mental health 🔗
It feels like a cop-out to share a link from work. But as someone who's been hospitalized multiple times postpartum, I will always wonder if my then-shit diet played a role, and how much. And if I could've prevented it from happening again with an intentional diet with a third child.
Learn from Dr. Chris Palmer, author of Brain Energy, how food affects mental health.
⚫️ 1 journal prompt: What do you need to remind yourself of often? 📔
Look, I got to a place where I realized tracking daily habits was a toxic trait. So I'm not asking you to do this. But what are some things outside of baseline self-care habits that you need to remind yourself to do on the regular?
Thanks for reading!
Hit reply to chat further on any of the above. I love to hear from you. See you soon.
Be safe and well,
Jenny